A bitchy....
and a positive take on things....
My, oh my, do I feel like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde today? It's just that I've read an article in the Inquirer about this guy who has polio who overcame his disability and eventually became successful inspite of the discrimination that he faced even from his own parents who, sadly, denied him the right to be educated.
God, how awful can that be! Frankly, it struck a resonant chord in me because I simply cannot fathom how pea-brained some people could be. Someone said to me that it seems that God truly has me in his special favor because He handed everything to me on a silver platter.
Well, di naman siguro...
Though I'm very appreciative of everything that I have, all that I have now is truly hard-earned. On the back of my mind, I was always aware that I have to work three times as hard as other people so as to level the playing field because I knew that there will be a point where I would be discriminated whether I like it or not. That's where my constant perfectionist tendencies comes siguro...whether in academics, looks (daw o! kapal, hehehe) or what not. Basta, for me, it's not enough that I am smart because I have to be pretty, sociable, friendly, well-bred and well-traveled as well.
Like that Josh Goban song, "You Raise Me Up," lahat ng meron ako utang na loob ko sa Diyos, sa parents ko, sa boss ko, sa friends ko at sa lahat ng tumulong at nagpatatag sa 'kin whether in a good or bad way - coz I have this uncanny ability to transform even the most utterly negative thing in my life into something positive and use that as a "crutch" (pun intended) to achieve something great - that and a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor, charm, wit, prayer, and most of all, willpower.
I admit I have achieved a lot and someone said I don't have to prove anything anymore either to myself or to other people. But I guess the inner struggle is still there - to constantly excel, not just for other people before, but, more importantly, for myself - so that I won't ever be complacent and to challenge myself everyday that I can do more.
Several people have told me that I inspire them. A friend once told me that I have made his mom cry after reading my story in a paper. My best friend has nicknamed me "Apolinaria" - that, and "kikay na pilay," hehehe :) and others have told me that I'm a positive role model.
So, to all the disabled like me, do your best to be an inspiration to other people and find as much meaning as you can in life so that you have nothing to regret later. And don't let anyone tell you, (even your parents), what you can or cannot do. (hehehe, pursuit of happiness, ikaw ba ittch!?!)
Always shoot for the moon because if you fail, at least you'll be among the stars.
Nagmamahal,
Apolinaria (with apologies to the real thang)
